OniStuck
by BlueStrawberryIII
Summary: The Beta kids get stuck in a mansion where strange noises haunt the night, and monsters rule the halls. Based off of Heta/Ao Oni with a good helping of Sburb and other twists mixed in. WARNING: Major character death.
1. Prologue

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are currently fighting for your friends' lives. You had been placed on guard duty while the rest of them slept in a dining room Egbert had discovered a day or so ago. During the night, some small imps had snuck in and almost gotten past you in the dark. You had defeated them in seconds, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that they kept coming. You've only ever seen this many when that giant monster is clo—Oh crap.

The odd vmm noise you know so well, the precursor to the monster's appearance. You hear a Thump…thump…thump coming down the hall and a creak from the door.

"JADE!" you yell, "ROSE, JOHN! IT'S HERE!" They're not waking up. They're not moving. They're just lying there a few feet behind you, with no way for you to tell if your friends are alive or if some imps had gotten past you in the confusion.

You're distracted by this distressing thought. Distracted enough to forget to keep an eye on the door.

Out of the darkness, a large hand grabs you in a crushing grip. You manage to choke out a startled gasp before you're thrown on the opposite wall. The last thing you see before you black out forever is the monster standing over your motionless friends.

**A/N**

**I swear, this isn't it! There's more!**

**If you have any critiques, help me out here! (Like maybe telling me if I'm doing Author's Notes right?)(Or if I made grammar/punctuation mistakes)(Or if I just downright suck and shouldn't be on here)**

**I seriously have no idea what I'm doing here and I need all the help I can get, trust me.**

**On another note, any of you guys have an idea as to what the big monster should be? The Condesce, Lord English, Bec Noir, someone else?**


	2. Back to the Beginning

**I'm not sure if I conveyed this correctly back in the first chapter/prologue: They all died back there. The thing-which-has-not-been-named killed them the end next timeline.**

**I am now going to proceed to go back to the beginning. Prepare for completely awful suspense or whatever this is.**

You stood outside the large mansion doors with John Egbert. The building was huge and run-down looking, and looked slightly eerie in the late-afternoon light. It was your friend, Rose Lalonde's fault you were all here, of course. She had heard about this "haunted" mansion up on the hill and decided to drag you all on some supernatural investigation. She and Jade Harley had already gone in, while you and John had brought some supplies, since Rose had planned an overnight at this creepy old house. You had food, water, sleeping bags, a flashlight, and pajamas for all of you, plus an extra change of clothes for tomorrow, all in a backpack hanging on your left shoulder.

Next to you, John shivered and pushed up his square-rimmed glasses. "Dave," he began, "Is this house creeping you out at all?"

You looked at him askance, your eyes—thankfully covered by your trusty shades—mirroring his own apprehension. "Nah. It's probably just the lighting or something. Don't get your panties in a twist, Egbert."

John gulped and nodded, walking forward and opening the large double doors, just to show he wasn't scared. A cloud of dust rose up from the entryway. He sneezed while you looked on in confusion. If the girls had gone in earlier today, why was there about a week's worth of debris lying around?

You followed John in. His steps were light and cautious, like the floor would cave in at any moment.

Maybe he was on to something. You moved away from that board that was creaking under your weight.

"ROSE!" You yelled once you were free from the weak boards, "ROSE, WE'RE HERE!" No answer.

You sighed, pushing some of your platinum-blonde hair back into place. Striders have to look cool at all times, of course. Even if they were in an abandoned old shack like you were.

"ROSE?" John yelled. A small noise was heard from upstairs.

"That sounds like Harley" You commented, starting calmly towards the stairs.

John grabbed your arm, stopping you. "Dave. What if it's not Jade?"

"Egbert, what in the WORLD could it be if it's not her?"

"Well," he looked away, slightly embarrassed, "Rose did say this house was haunted."

"All the more reason to find them. What if they're under attack from a big, bad ghostie?" You made a scary face and moved up the stairs, John having no choice but to follow you.

"Yo, Harley!" You called, a bit softer now that you were closer, "You and Lalonde okay?"

A muffled sound came from behind a door further down the hall. John jogged up ahead and carefully maneuvered the decrepit piece of wood into an opened position. You followed casually after him, swaggering just a bit—why not?

Inside, you were met with a staircase stretching into a black expanse. John was already halfway down the stairs before he disappeared.

You followed him, digging around in the pack for the flashlight. After what seemed like hours searching—actually, you knew it was only about 30 seconds, but it sure felt long—you pulled it out and felt around the cylinder for the on switch. You had just found it when, up ahead, you heard a screech, followed by a loud thump.

**I WARNED YOU!**

**Fail suspense up there, but you know. If there's anything you can tell me that'll help, pleasepleasepleasePLEASE tell me. I'd love any help you can get!**

**(That's a cheap way to say "Review please :3")**

**Also, I'm still stumped on what the big bad monster should be… I'm leaning toward Bec Noir right now, but whoever it is probably won't come in 'till way later. Tell me what you think!**


	3. Giggles in the Dark

**God, I'm such a bad person for not updating for so long! Geez, 9 days what even…**

**I'm so sorry, guys, so to make it up to you, this chapter is extra long!**

The yelp echoed up to you through the darkness. Despite the serious damage it would do to your cool façade, you started to tear down the stairs two at a time, battling madly with the light switch on the flashlight.

"John?" you called, trying to forget about the whole "haunted house" thing. Your call was greeted by a low groan, and the hair on the back of your neck stood up in alarm. The passage seemed colder, the darkness thicker. Why do flashlights have to be so difficult!

A few more steps down, and you had suddenly run into something very hard and solid. Your nose exploded in pain and you stumbled back, tripping on something else—softer, this time—and landing with your head slamming into the opposite wall.

You took a moment to check your sniffer for any serious damage, and to wipe the reflexive tears from your eyes. "Egbert?" You said, going out on a limb, "That you?"

The thing you tripped on groaned in assent.

"What the hell are you doing there? Taking a nap?" You asked, back to your cool, sarcastic self.

"I found a loose board," he mumbled, "And then the wall. Then the floor."

Even though he couldn't see it, you rolled your eyes in accompaniment with your scoff. "Well, get up. We gotta find Harley and Lalonde." You felt around for his hand to help him up.

"Hey, Dave," he said, when you were both up, "You wanna bring out that flashlight now?"

The flashlight. You had dropped it earlier, around the time you had tripped over John. There was no way you were going to find it in the pitch blackness. "I lost it when I ran into the wall, I think. You have anything else?"

John pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and flipped it open, dimly illuminating the small corridor you were in: a flight of stairs leading to a bend—where you had slammed into the wall—a loose board right at the foot of the staircase, and, farther down, the flat area where you had tripped on John.

John shone the weak light all around the floor for the flashlight, but it was nowhere to be seen. "Well," John shrugged, "The girls have one, too. We just have to find them." He continued walking along the dark passage, much to your surprise. You had been expecting him to chicken out or something. In fact, you had been half-hoping he would.

"ROSE! JADE! YOU THERE?" he was yelling, much too loudly for your tastes.

"IN HERE!" came Jade's voice, a little farther down the hall. You and John sped up, and soon you could see the faint glow of a light coming from under a door. John eagerly threw open the door and ran in. You followed in, a bit slower, and peeked in. Indeed, there were Rose and Jade jumping up and hugging John, grins all around, with working lights hanging from the ceiling. You eased yourself into the room and closed the door. As you did so, your ears twitched at the sound of… a fading giggle? You shivered. Ugh, you knew that sound from somewhere, but you couldn't place where… Whatever. You tended to hear things when it's dark, anyways.

Hallucinations or not, you shut the door fairly quickly.

"Dave!" yelled Jade, tearing her attention from John, and jump-tackling you in a big bear hug, bringing you both down to the floor. You laughed quietly.

"Hey, Harley. What're you doing down here?"

She sat up crisscross-applesauce on your stomach and grinned widely. "Well, Rose said we found signs of a… um… a… Rose, what was that word you used again?"

She looked up from a patch of floor that she was examining. "A location of potential paranormal activity. There seem to be—or there once were—several types of supernatural goings-on occurring in this mansion. I also found a place for us to sleep."

John went a bit white, and you made a slight expression of distaste. "Lalonde, you do know how absolutely crazy that sounds, right? 'Oh, this place was/is haunted, and we're going to sleep here'"

"You did agree to this," she pointed out, "And you brought the sleeping bags like I asked. Are you saying, however, that you would like to back out?" She pursed her black-painted lips together in challenge and looked at you, a questioning look in her eyes. You could almost feel her picking apart your psyche, analyzing every fricking twitch of your face.

"No, I'm not backing out. Just pointing out how weird you are." You playfully threw Jade off your stomach and walked over to her. "What're you looking at?"

She moved over for you to see. It looked like a normal piece of wood to you. You stared at it, puzzled, before looking blankly at Rose. She sighed. "Look at that mark there. That's from a sulfur fire. You know what sulfur is used for, right?"

You nodded. "Demon summoning. But how can you tell it's from sulfur? Shouldn't it look like any other burn?"

"I've got enough in my room. I know how to tell." You gave her an odd look under your shades, but made no comment.

"Okay. So how do we know this fire wasn't an accident, and a lump of sulfur just happened to be in the way?"

The look she gave you was withering to say the least. "Do you see signs of a fire anywhere else in this room?"

"Well, no, but-" The lights overhead flickered, went out for a bit, and came back on at half power. Behind you, John and Jade inhaled nervously. You looked at Rose. "In case the lights go out, do you think we should maybe go upstairs? You know, where there's light?" She looked at the sulfur mark thoughtfully before standing up and going over to her and Jade's pack—noticeably lighter than yours—and pulled out a powerful flashlight.

"Come on, guys." She called to John and Jade, "Let's go upstairs before the power outs completely on us." You all followed her out of the room and into the dark passage, led by the bright beam of light cutting through the inky blackness.

You, being in the back, had the hardest time seeing the stairs in front of you, and almost tripped a few times. _How in the world did I get down these stairs so fast?_ you wondered in annoyance after almost tripping for the fourth time. Jade, third in line, was at least five steps ahead of you, and you tried to pick up the pace.

You felt some pressure around your ankle, and you went down, faceplanting on the stairs with a loud _Thud!_ All three of your friends turned in alarm. You picked yourself up and waved their concerned gazes away. When they had all turned back, you looked behind you.

There was a flash of orange in the dark, and you blinked. It wasn't there anymore. It had probably been from Rose's flashlight; when she had turned around, it must have gotten you in the eyes. You hurried up the stairs after your friends.

The light of dusk filtered through the windows. Rose had done some more investigating, but no more evidence of "potential paranormal activity". John and Jade started yawning, and you and Rose had decided it was time to call it a day. She showed you to a bedroom she had found, complete with bug-infested beds and cobwebs hanging from the sides.

You all decided to sleep on the floor.

As you snuggled deep into your red sleeping bag, you thought you heard the giggle again.

You turned over. Stupid late-night mind trickery.

**Man, this was a long chapter! Hope you like it! :D**

**Also, just wanted to tell you all: I got my first flame! Sadly, though, it was just my friend trying to troll me or whatever. (He's the Grimreaper person). LOL not quite sure how I would react to an actual legit flame… Not sure I want to find out :T**

**So anyways, review this chapter with tips, ideas, comments, improvements, apocalypse theories, anything!**


	4. The Monster

**Okay, next chapter up! Things actually happen in this one, but it doesn't exactly count as horror.**

**What the heck ever, enjoy it anyway, because I said so, and you must do as I say because of reasons.**

**Edit: Oh good god I was/am up way too late writing this. I'm sorry if it's awful, and I also started to forget when to use its and when to use it's. The first sign that I should be going to sleep soon.**

**And then I think Dave might get OOC at the end there... I don't know, I just kinda want to sleep...**

**(Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)**

The morning brought golden light searing through your glasses and penetrating past your eyelids. You didn't want to wake up, you didn't want to open your eyes… You shifted a bit, and discovered something was lying draped across your face.

Reluctantly, you eased your red eyes open. On top of you was—

"HOLY SHIT!" You screamed, scrambling back. How did Bro's creepy-ass puppet get here? Bro didn't even know where you were! He thought you were at John's house for a sleepover or something.

You examined the thing, now lying on the ground in a heap of twisted-up puppet limbs. Now that you looked, there was something off about this one. It seemed the same as Bro's, but there was something different about his face: his eyes seemed more…lively than usual, his smile pulled slightly tighter.

John shifted in his blue sleeping bag next to you. "Dave, stop yelling." he groaned, and then squinted up at you, "Don't you ever take those shades off?"

"Hell no, man. These things are the shit."

"Whatever." John sat up and put on his own glasses, blearily rubbing his eyes. Once he was done, he looked curiously—and with no small amount of disturbance—at Lil' Cal. "Dave, do you ever go anywhere without that puppet?"

"Nah. It's like Cal follows me or something. I sure didn't bring him." You said, forcefully putting your expression back under control.

John gave you a weird look, then one to Cal. "Um. Okay. Hey, how about we go explore a bit before the girls wake up?" He asked, brightening a bit and standing up.

You joined him, wanting to get as far away from Cal as possible. He led you out of the second-story bedroom, down the stairs and to the left, into a room filled with bookcases.

_Rose would feel right at home,_ you thought, looking up and down the rows upon rows of literature. John had run ahead to look at something in the corner, but you were looking for something—anything—even remotely interesting. All you could find were books with weird names: _Aspects of the Tiers: Breath (Volume One of Twelve)_;_ Kernels and Sprites_;_ Skaia's Mysteries_; the list went on and on. You weren't the brightest person in the world, but for the life of you, you couldn't figure what any of these titles could mean! You reached for one of the books—titled _Aspects of the Tiers: Time (Volume Three of Twelve)_—in hopes of clearing something up.

The cover was red, with a picture of a ten-pointed gear on it. You opened it up to a random page, and launched into the middle of a completely confusing explanation of what an "Heir of Time" was. Apparently powerful in some way, had timey-wimey powers… What was this, some D&D handbook? You closed the tome and shoved your hands in your pockets.

"Dave!" John called from the back of the room, "C'mere! I found something cool!"

Sighing, you followed the sound of his voice, weaving in and out of the maze of books. He was standing in front of some huge…thing. It was big and cylindrical, with a lid that looked like it might come off if you pulled hard enough. At around waist level was a small blank screen, like the kind you would find on a digital clock that's been unplugged.

"What is it?" You asked John, curiosity lighting underneath your shades.

"Well," he said, pushing up his glasses, "I'm not quite sure. It sure looks cool, though!"

You looked at him, and raised your eyebrows slightly. "Really, Egbert? I think it looks pretty boring." You replied sarcastically. "What do you think it does?" You asked, moving around the machine.

"Dunno. It looks like this thing on top comes off, though." He started climbing the thing, making his way to the top.

"Careful, dude. I don't want you falling and breaking anything."

"I'm fine, Dave!" He looked down at you, "Don't worry! I-" John broke off, looking towards the door.

You craned your neck upwards. "What'cha seeing up there?" John had gone rigid, and you were getting kind of worried. "John? You okay?"

"Dave," he said, a bit shakily, "Come up here."

You shrugged and started climbing. The air around you started getting colder as you moved up, and an odd vibrating sound bounced around your head. You joined John on top of the thing and followed his line of vision.

"What the hell is that?" You whispered to John. Through the maze of bookcases loomed a large green figure clad in a peculiar flashing coat. It was stalking ever closer to your position and John seemed to be having a hard time breathing. You were, too, but you were being quieter about it. With each passing second, your mind discarded another idea: jumping bookcases was impossible because they were too far apart. You couldn't make a run for it because the green thing was blocking every escape route. The only thing you could think of was to stay put and hope it didn't see you.

It turned into your aisle.

So much for that plan. On to the next.

"John, stand up with me."

He looked up at you confusedly, but took your hand and stood up anyways.

"HEY, YOU UGLY SHITHEAD!" You yelled at the thing. It looked up at you and lowered its head dangerously.

"Dave…" John whispered next to you, trembling a bit.

"It's okay, Egbert. I've got this shit under wraps." At least you thought you did. It was kind of a dangerous idea, so maybe not.

You goaded it some more, causing it to sprint forward, surprisingly fast for its bulk. John clenched your arm tighter and you braced yourself for the impact.

The thing rammed into the odd machine, just as you had planned, and it started to tip slightly backwards. "Lean forward!" You yelled, pulling John to lean toward the green thing. Ever so painfully slowly, the huge metal bulk eased closer to the monster, who was currently overcoming the shock of hitting something harder than its skull-shaped head.

Once the metal contraption was well on its way to crushing the thing, you pulled John off; in case it didn't work, you wanted to be as far away from that thing as possible. You both took off running, weaving through the bookcases, up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Rose looked up from her purple sleeping bag at you and John accusingly. "I hope you have a good explanation for slamming doors while the rest of us are asleep."

Next to her, Jade—always the sound sleeper—hadn't moved. "There's a monster," you gasped, "In the house. It's green and big and-"

"It tried to kill us!" John interjected, eyes wide in terror.

Rose looked at the two of you with an unreadable expression. "Where was this 'monster' of yours?"

"In the library. Downstairs." You sat down on your sleeping bag, feeling very tired.

"Right," Rose said in a sensible tone, "Why don't you and John get some sleep? You probably need it after such an exhausting venture."

Had you been in your right mind, you would've suspected something fishy. But you, Dave Strider, were in fact completely and un-ironically drained of all energy. As soon as you hit your pillow, you were out.

**A/N**

**Alright, have fun. Next chapter will be a bit different in ways but I'm not telling you how :T**

**So, review with what you think will happen next, what I could have done to make that one LE scene a bit scarier/better/whatever, why I am correct/incorrect in my theory that zebras are white with black stripes, or if you have any ideas for scenes I could put in later on! Thank you so much, and I hope you keep reading and suffering through my pathetic pleadings for reviews.**


	5. In Which Floorboards Are A Problem

**Alright! Next chapter UP! Thank you so much for reviewing the last chapter, Anon! You were the only one! (Mostly, I do believe, because FF decided not to inform the world that I had updated. Stupid website thing) So anyways, enjoy this chapter!**

You waited for Dave and John to fall asleep before standing up.

Your name is now Rose Lalonde, and you have a 'monster' to investigate.

You reached down to your pack to pick up your knitting needles—originally brought for entertainment, but you were used to using them as weapons to fending off your mother as well—and walked quietly out the door.

It took a bit to find the library, taking into account the fact that dear Mr. Strider hadn't given you detailed instructions on where exactly it was, but eventually, after searching the whole right wing of the building, you located it on the other side, in the left wing.

You opened the door, slightly frustrated with yourself, though you had no reason to be.

Inside was the largest collection of books you had seen in one room. You rushed over to the first shelf, containing a large tome on the "Different Deployable Devices". You weren't sure what that meant, but you tucked it under your arm anyway: it seemed very interesting. There were other books, like _A Field Guide to Imps,_ and_ Horrorterrors and Associated Beings. _It all fascinated you, and you resolved to come back and study these strange new subjects once you had determined the nature of Dave's claim that there was a monster lurking about.

You shifted through the maze of shelves, trying very hard not to get distracted by the interesting book titles, or the bright and colorful binding of each one, beckoning you to pick up every one of them and delve into their wells of knowledge.

You accomplished this nigh-impossible feat by mostly staring at the ground the whole way. Sure, it was probably a bit dangerous doing so, considering there was apparently a monster afoot, but you, with all your connections to the world of the supernatural, couldn't sense the slightest thing out of the ordinary. Besides, of course, the ever-lingering residue of supernatural activity that practically blanketed this whole mansion, but that was just a constant. It meant almost nothing to you, now that you had gotten used to it.

You now stood in the back of the room, _Different Deployable Devices and Their Functions_ clutched to your chest. A slight disturbance in the supernatural fabric caused you to look up.

A large…thing sat on the ground, obviously upturned. There was a lid at the top that seemed to have been opened, and a small screen on the side which currently sported numbers. It reminded you of a digital clock, or maybe a stopwatch. The numbers read 06:24, at the moment, but were quickly counting down. You assumed the countdown hadn't been going for that long, considering the fact that it only had space for up to an hour or so. But what was it counting down? It gave you a slightly ominous feeling, but right now you were more concerned about the veritable waves of paranormal-ness radiating from the ground underneath the toppled machine. Something in your gut tingled, much as you imagined John would describe "spider senses" to be like. You kneeled down, careful to set the book to the side a safe distance away, and leaned closer to the area, trying to get a better sense of the disturbance.

It was very powerful, that much was for sure, and nothing like the other ghosts and whatnot that you had encountered before. Those had been fairly benign, but this one was filled with malice. It wasn't a very complex malice, however, so you assumed it was fairly unintelligent.

It was also very recent. You assumed this was Dave and John's 'monster'. Looking at the timer, you saw it now read 03:31. The ominous feeling came back, and you decided that whatever happened at the end of the countdown, you didn't want you or your friends to be there when it reached zero. Leaving the book, you raced back up the stairs.

"John! Dave, Jade, get up!" You commanded, kicking Dave (the nearest to you) in the ribs as you did so. John sat up, groaning and rubbing his eyes, and Dave shot up with a loud curse.

Jade didn't stir. You grabbed a water bottle from Dave's pack and poured half of its contents on her face. She spluttered awake, and you pulled her up. "We need to get out!" You said urgently, "There's a countdown on the strange machine downstairs, and I don't think it would be beneficial for us to be in the mansion when it reaches the end."

Dave looked irritably at his phone. "Lalonde, it's twelve o' two. Why are you even up? It's the weekend." He almost flopped back onto his sleeping bag, apparently having forgotten that he had been up first, or, for that matter, that he had come face-to-face with a very angry monster only minutes before.

"Strider, get back up! We need to go." You kicked him again, preventing him from falling back asleep. John, the only sensible one of your friends apparently, had picked up both packs and was helping Jade wake up some more. You pulled Dave up to his feet, much to his annoyance.

"What the hell is this about, Lalonde?" He slurred, adopting about as annoyed an expression as he could muster without damaging his precious poker face.

"Dave, don't you remember the monster?" John questioned in a shocked tone, "How are you so calm?"

You saw Dave's face dawn in recognition. He pulled his hand away from yours and took the heavier pack from John. "Let's go."

Dave led the three of you down the stairs and raced toward the huge double doors, him and John each pulling one open while you and Jade ran outside. John joined the two of you, but after a dry _crack!_, you all turned around. Dave was kneeling just inside, his right leg disappearing into the floor. The weak boards had finally given in under the weight of Dave and his pack.

Jade was the first to race forward, followed by John and you. It took all four of you pulling for a whole minute before Dave's leg was finally freed and you all fell backwards.

It took another thirty or so seconds to get him up—his ankle had been sprained in the fall, and you and Jade had to help him while John took the pack back.

You were about halfway back out the entrance when the double doors slammed shut, inches from your faces.

**A/N**

**Alright, there you are! Now why do you think THAT happened? So close, too!**

**Well, that was about my last chance to end this series without having to kill anyone… I feel kinda bad now… =( Whatever, stuff might possibly happen soon that may potentially begin to slightly resemble the actual Hetaoni story line, but I promise that if it does, it won't last long. It will be just as weird as ever, and probably more, don't worry!**

**So, now on to more pathetic review-begging.**

***Gets down on knees* PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH /PLEASE/ REVIEW! ANONS REGULARS FLAMES I DON'T CARE JUST LET ME KNOW YOU'RE STILL OUT THERE! LET ME KNOW YOU'RE ALIIIIIIIIVE!**

**(Is that good enough for you? Heartless beasts, the lot of you! ;3; )**

**(I didn't mean that! D= )**


	6. Split Up

**HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO AMERICA AND HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!**

**Alright, now that that silliness is over…**

**OH MY GOSH I'M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT! I have absolutely no excuse this time for any delays in uploading this chapter, nor do I have any reason for any suckishness that might occur in the fabric of this writing. I also cannot account for any odd metaphors such as the previous sentence.**

**(I really just hope people are still reading this and didn't just give up on it)**

**But anyways! Since I don't have that many reviewers, I'm going to answer all my reviews up here like all the cool people do or whatever…**

**UsagiGirl123: Sometimes we need a good dose of cynicism! And actually, the grammar thing was about a fourth of the reason I even wrote a fanfic. When I first got on here, my faith in the human race died a bit because of all the typos (I'm kind of a grammar Nazi) and I swore right then to someday write something on here that would live up to my standards of grammar-ness. (Now watch as I make about five typos in that paragraph.)**

**Anon: HOLD YOUR HORSES! I'm taking this story pretty darn slow, so it might be a bit. However, if you pay attention and read a LOT into it, I did put a troll in here… somewhere… ;)**

**Renee: INTERNET SAFETY! Stupid beansprout. And I'm sorry for not sending you this chapter before it's up, BTW. I still love you, and you're still my captive beta reader. (And also, you're welcome.)**

**The Midnight Warrior: The book was the book, obviously. LE will get them eventually at some point maybe. You'll just have to see~ *Insert most annoying in the history of the world right here.*  
And I didn't update because I am a lazy bum. In fact I think I should get an award for being the procrastinator of the month :T**

**Okay, that's it! You may now go on to read this thing that I wrote.**

Your name is Dave Strider again, and you're pretty sure you just doomed you and your friends.

When they had discovered your predicament, they had rushed forward like the insanely cool friends they were and tried to help you pull yourself out. It had worked, but instead of falling forwards to safety, you had to fall backwards and trap the four of you in a haunted mansion with a huge green rage monster prowling about.

As soon as the door slammed, Rose and Jade dropped you—leaving you to crumple painfully to the floor—and ran up to the door with John, banging and trying desperately to open it. It wasn't budging.

Suddenly, Rose twitched and swiveled around to face the hallway to the right. Her violet eyes narrowed and she cautiously walked forward, stooping low to the ground.

Then her phone went off, and you all jumped. John even let out a small squeak. She opened what you assumed was a text, read it, and looked you all straight in the eyes. "We've got trouble."

John shivered "It's getting cold…"

"And what's that vibrating noise?" Jade added.

You struggled to your feet, hopping on one foot until you found a wall to lean on. "It's that monster thing. You guys have to run. I'll try to distract him." Yeah, this was a bad idea. You were probably going to die, but it was kind of your fault your friends were in this mess with you to begin with, and you would have died if they had left you anyways, so either way you had it coming.

Jade, however, didn't seem to follow your train of thought. With one swift move, the tan girl hauled you over her shoulder and up the stairs—how the hell was she so strong?—followed closely by Rose and John.

From your position (convenient, but very detrimental to your pride) you could see the green thing lumbering from the other side of the hall and following you slowly up the stairs, evidently trying to make it up without falling through the boards. "We need to split up!" Rose yelled behind you, "It might become confused and leave us alone if we disperse our scent!"

"How do you know it runs on scent?" You yelled back.

"I don't." Came the reassuring reply. Nevertheless, when you got to the top, Jade took a right and John and Rose ran to the left, effectively cutting your party in half. Jade ran to the end of the hall and threw open the door to what seemed to be a storage room. You were then unceremoniously dumped behind a large device. It had a raised platform at about chest height with a large spiral-looking thing painted on the top. Jade ducked behind another one, long, thin, and rectangular. You both waited in breathless silence. The air was still cold, and you could both feel the vibrations echoing in your heads.

Slowly, though, they faded along with the deep thumping of its footsteps. You and Jade waited a minute or two after you were sure it was gone before moving out from behind your hiding places.

Jade had just helped you up when a loud, shrill scream echoed from the other end of the house. She looked at you. "That was Rose!" A loud roar followed, and that was all it took for Jade to set you down and go tearing out of the room and down the hall.

Your name is Jade Harley. At the moment you are running like a crazy person, trying to reach the other end of the hall, where you assume Rose and John had gone when you had split up. After the roar, the vibrations and chill had vanished completely, which you assumed meant you were fairly safe. When you got to the other side, you began throwing open doors, trying to find your friends. They weren't in the room you all had spent the night in. Nor the room after that. You made your way down the hall, until you finally stood before the final room.

You opened it and were greeted by a dark room. The only light came from the hallway behind you, dimly lighting the small space before you. On the floor, a little way back, lay Rose's knitting needles.

You inched forward and noticed a dark substance covering the needles, starting from the tips and reaching almost all the way up to the handles. You don't lean down to examine the strong-smelling stuff. You're not sure you want to know what it is.

Farther back, a similar, if weaker, smell was wafting from a raised area. You crept hesitantly forward, a sense of foreboding creeping over you.

Gradually, a lump formed in your field of vision, sitting on top of the raised area-you have now identified it as a slab of...something. The figure on it slowly came into focus: it was leaning motionless on the wall, and most certainly human. You got closer.

You could now recognize the person: square glasses, raven hair to match your own, and an adorable overbite.

"John?" you whispered, sitting next to the slumped figure. He didn't answer. The room was dead silent, save your own shallow breathing. "John?" you tried again, a bit more urgently. The smell was stronger here, right next to him. You leaned nearer to his face. The bitterly metallic odor was nauseating, and there was a slight stain of darkness on his chin and lacing the front of his Slime Ghost shirt. Your stomach flopped around a bit, much like a live fish was inside you. You leaned your face closer to his and put a hand on his chest, careful to avoid the dark spots.

After five minutes of sitting there, trying to prove yourself wrong, you leaned back. He wasn't breathing. John's chest hadn't moved once and not even a ghost of breath had come from his mouth the whole time you had been there.

You sat back, emotions flitting across your face: defeat, sorrow, anger, fear, shock. One of your best friends was lying dead, just a foot away. What do you do in a situation like that? You figured Dave ought to know: he and John had been best bros ever since Dave had moved from Texas all the way back in first grade.

You got up, giving the corpse one last hesitant look before leaving the room.

**Okay, there you go! Are you all happy? Of course you are! People are dead, and I have a feeling that's what half of you people are here for. If that's not what you were here for, I'm sorry. Things like this may start happening a bit more :T And you know, I may actually get better at writing or something, so there might be more graphic descriptions? (I'm sorry if that blood thing grossed someone out; I don't have the weakest of stomachs so I tend to not notice gross stuff…)**

**So! Review with ideas, improvements, what you had for breakfast, maybe even a guess of what I had for breakfast, or perhaps just some good old-fashioned flames. Or, you know. Encouragement is usually more productive than flaming.**

**WHATEVER JUST TALK TO ME! :U**


	7. Kernel

**Alright, little bit of emotions in here. At the thought of such abominations, I usually die a bit inside and whimper, pleading for mercy, but I have endured touching the filthy things for the sake of doing what I consider to be in character and fitting to the circumstance.**

**So, that said, you can probably tell I am downright retarded when writing this bane of my existence. Bear with me, don't die on me. And you know. Don't stop reading?**

**Anyways, on to replies:**

**Lolchick44: Ao Oni is a horror game that I have never actually played. These people get stuck in a mansion they all die the end I think. Something like that.**

**Guest: Aw ;w; Thanks, random guest person! I look forward to the day you finally get friends to share this with! (But really who needs friends? *Grimaces at the mention of the awful disease*)**

**UsagiGirl123: Yes I remember you! You're one of those helpful people =D  
And yes John :3 Because I said so.**

You looked up as Jade ran back into the room, an odd expression on her teary face. "What's wrong?" you asked, concern etched onto your features.

"John." Her voice was quavering dangerously, tears threatening to spill over at any second. "John, he's... He's..."

And the floodgates burst open, Jade collapsing onto you in a fit of bawling. You stood there awkwardly and put your arms around her, not quite sure what else you could do with such little understanding of her situation.

After puzzling over what could possibly be wrong, you turned your attention back to Jade, sobbing uncontrollably—the front of your shirt was now covered in salt water and snot—and shaking like a leaf. Occasionally she would manage to gasp out a word or two. John, mostly. You swayed side to side, kind of like you remembered Bro doing when you were little, and made small shushing sounds in an attempt to calm her down. Her glasses were fogging up something awful, so you reached down to take them off and set them on a nearby box.

After about ten minutes of shushing, rocking, and hair-stroking, Jade managed to calm down a bit, though her speech was broken frequently with small gasps. You tried to piece together her story from the few intelligible words you had heard: "So what you're saying is that you found Egbert in a dark room and he wasn't breathing?"

She nodded and started sniffling.

"Can you show me?" you asked, not quite believing her account. Or, at least, not wanting to believe it. She nodded again and shakily stood up, taking your hand and pulling you with her. You grabbed the backpack on your way out.

With your hand around her shoulder, you managed to limp-hop all the way to the other end of the hall, where she stopped at a partially open door. You eased the door all the way open and dug around for that accursed flashlight. Flipping it on, you took in a sight that reminded you, in a vague way, of a fresh crime scene: blood lay in splotches in random places, like in a sticky puddle around Rose's knitting needles and on the wall above a huge slab of blue rock. You limped forward, Jade dutifully following you, arm still around your waist.

Up close, the rock was even odder, with short posts on each corner like a bed, and a wavy symbol on the center in a lighter shade of blue. There seemed to only be blood on the wall at what would be the head of the 'bed'.

You looked over to Jade, who was staring at the rock in confusion. "He was here!" she exclaimed, starting to cry again.

"Dude, it's okay. John's okay. He's not here, so he's somewhere else. He was probably just playing a prank on you. He's the pranking master, remember?" Okay, so his pranks were actually pretty awful, and you really didn't believe most of the BS that was coming out of your mouth, but it was calming Jade down, so that was good. Tears are not your forte. "Come on, let's go back to the storage room. John'll get tired of his joke at some point and come back."

"What about Rose?"

"Egbert probably enlisted her help. She'd do it, too. Probably watching us right now, psychoanalyzing us as we speak." You looked around, pretending to be looking for Rose, as if you thought you'd actually find her.

You didn't, obviously. But you did think you saw a flash of pink, and your nose caught a whiff of something distinctly sugary...

"Dave!" Jade hissed, suddenly, her grip on your waist tightening. "What was that? I heard something. Like a giggle."

What was it with this house and creepy laughing? You motioned for her to start walking the two of you backwards; it didn't seem quite safe in this room anymore.

It was a bit awkward, trying to leave a room by walking backwards with a limp, but you managed it.

You had just gotten out the door when, right before you flicked off the flashlight, you spotted a pale face in the darkness of the room, smiling sweetly. Right. At. You. You stumbled backwards, slammed the door, and nearly dragged Jade the rest of the way back to your storage room.

"What was that for?" Jade asked confusedly, setting you down on top of the machine you had hidden behind earlier.

"There was something..." you began, before thinking it over. You could see Jade was still shaken about John being missing, and you could tell she didn't need much more on her shoulders than she already had. "It was nothing. Just a bit jumpy I guess." You shrugged nonchalantly, putting your famous poker face into overdrive to hide your almost overwhelming worry. You really didn't like this house, even without the monster afoot. There were too many creepy things, like floating faces and randomly appearing puppets. And now both John and Rose were missing, with almost nothing to point to their whereabouts.

Jade was looking at you quizzically throughout your musing. You glanced up. Thank god your shades hid the worry creasing around your eyes.

"Why don't we go check out the library?" you asked, trying to distract the both of you. Of course, the library wasn't the best place for that, considering that was where you and John had first seen the monster, but it was all you could think of at the moment.

You and Jade reached the room with almost no difficulty—except for the stairs. Those proved to be a challenge.

Once inside, you closed and locked the door. Better safe than sorry. Jade helped you to the table and then went to go find some books.

"Harley," you called after her, "Do you know anything about medical stuff?"

"Not much. And there aren't any books here on it. Just a bunch of weird stuff. Why do you ask?"

"This limp is annoying as hell. I wanna fix it or something."

Jade looked up from the book she was inspecting. "Dave. You don't know how to treat a sprain? Haven't you ever gone to camp or something?" You shook your head. "Okay, first, elevate your leg." She moved over to you and set down her stack of books—an especially colorful one titled _Tricksters_ caught your eye—and gingerly lifted your leg up onto the table. You squirmed uncomfortably.

"Now, um... RICE. Rest, ice, compress, elevate. We don't have anything cold, so we can't ice it... You have anything to wrap around it?"

"I've got my shirt."

Jade blushed a bit. "Let's not do that. You might get cold or something..."

You rolled your eyes and slouched back a bit more, smirking a little. "Then, no. I've got nothing. Unless my jeans would work?"

Okay, this was just amusing now. Jade was staring at you incredulously, apparently not aware how red her face was getting. She spluttered a bit, vetoing the notion.

Of course, when she caught you with your hand over your mouth in a pathetic attempt to hide your snickering, she gave you a well-deserved punch to the shoulder. "You're impossible." She giggled, turning around in search of more interesting books.

You reached over to get the Tricksters book, knowing that you'd get bored in a bit. You flipped to the middle of the book—demonstrating a considerable amount of disrespect for proper book-reading techniques that you know would bug Rose to no end—and started skimming.

Something about dead people and splitting in half (and a reference to a book called _Kernels and Sprites_ for additional information), something about evil sides and saving things, and a whole lot of words you really just didn't understand any more than anything else in this book. You set it down again, bored, just like you had predicted.

Your phone buzzed, and you fished it out of your pocket, confused. Last night when you had checked, there was no connection.

The text was from your Pesterchum app from someone named 'gallowsCalibrator'. Lovely name.

GC: D4V3. YOU SHOULD PROB4BLY TURN AROUND.

TG: why? and how do you know my name?

GC: JUST DO 1T ;]

gallowsCalibrator ceased pestering turntechGodhead

That was weird. You were kind of scared to turn around now, but you did it anyway, curiosity winning over your good judgment.

Two book cases away, Jade started in surprise at the sound of a very un-manly scream.

She rushed over to see you sitting on the floor, staring at a glowing ball of orange light the size of a basketball. You backed up a bit and your hand hit something.

Without thinking, you lobbed it at the thing, hoping it would go away. The dead bird—you took a moment to muse over the bird's presence in the mansion in the first place, and also the immense grossness of touching it in the first place—flew true and straight: right into the center of the sphere.

It didn't have the desired effect.

The ball started sparking and flashing. Not good. Jade helped you up, and in no time you were both rushing out of the library as fast as you could. (Which wasn't as fast as you'd like, thanks to your wonderful ankle.) Sadly, it was still behind you. The sphere was getting brighter and it started making weird noises, following you and Jade the whole time.

You were in front of a door just a little ways off the entryway. Jade threw it open without a second thought and rushed the two of you in.

Even with the door closed and locked, the two of you kept eyeing the door apprehensively from your position on the couch, where the thing was bumping persistently on the other side like a bug trapped in a jar. Orange light was seeping from the edges of the wood barrier, getting steadily brighter, the sounds getting louder and stranger; almost like distorted bird squawking. Like it was dying.

It wasn't a very soothing noise.

After seemingly an eternity, though, it quieted down. The strangled noises stopped, the light dimmed, and it stopped bumping. Sitting next to you, you felt Jade relax.

The few moments of silence that followed were broken by both of your phones ringing at the same time. You checked your phone: it was from John. Jade gave a light gasp and showed her own phone to you: John. You frowned, wondering how that was even possible. Shrugging it off, you took the call, hoping to hear your best bro's voice on the other end.

Static.

You glanced over at Jade. She was looking at you. "No go?" You asked. She nodded sadly. You hung up and leaned back on the couch. "Well, at least we know he's alive and just as much of a jerk as always."

She nodded and pulled her legs up onto the couch forlornly. You put your arm around her in an attempt to make her feel better. She leaned into you and sighed.

Arms wrapped around the both of you from behind. "Aw. Aren't you guys cute?"

You jumped at the familiar voice and turned around. Next to you, Jade gasped and you blinked in astonishment, beholding the sight in front of you.

**Okay someone said that chapters needed to be longer… Four pages long enough? XD**

**Also, some things:**

**Did anybody notice the Avengers reference back in that last chapter? It's pretty close to the beginning…**

**What times do you guys read/check for updates? Just any time or what? I wanna know so that I can update at the right time and hopefully get you all in the same day.**

**Do any of you have ANY advice for writing emotions? I was done with this two days ago, but was so insecure with all the emotions and how I wrote them that I felt like I needed a beta… (thank you ForgottenOlive for finally helping :3) So to avoid setbacks in updates later, could you guys give me some tips?**


	8. John

**Okay guys, I don't have a beta for the next two chapters, so bear with me, okay?**

**I'm so, so, so, sosososososo SO sorry for taking this long, so you get two in a row! Feel free to review both at once, or each separately; I really don't care. Just review. (Geez, taking to begging up at the top, too. What has become of me?)**

**Anyways, speaking of reviews, I need to reply to you wonderful people from last time!**

**UsagiGirl123: Yes, that could pawssibly be it! Good job! For finding the reference, you shall receive a cookie! *Hands you virtual cookie* And thank you so much for the advice! If I have to do emotions again, I'll try that!**

**XxNepetaRainbowAkemixX: I'M SO SORRY THIS IS PROBABLY NOBODY'S DEFENITION OF 'SOON'! I'm a bad person…**

**lolchick44: Yes, I find it's very hard for me to NOT end on a cliffhanger. It's just so much more interesting that way!**

If there was one thing you had learned from watching TV with your bro, it was that you should never. Ever. Blink. Bad things happen when you blink. This time was no exception.

Behind you, you had found John (looking a bit off-color, but still John) with his arms around you and Jade. When you opened your eyes from blinking, his face—paler than usual—was mere centimeters from yours. You jumped back in surprise and Jade giggled. "John! We were worried about you!" she exclaimed, reaching over the back of the couch to hug him.

John laughed giddily, almost as if he was on a sugar high (and you knew that a sugar-hyped John was bad news). "Good to see you, too, Jade!" he said, giggles interspersed between his words. You squinted at him suspiciously. If he was planning a prank, he should at least _try_ to cover up his excitement.

You looked him up and down: his hair was blonde—how the hell had he gotten bleach in this house? And why would he even want it?—and he had new clothes on, pink being the predominant color. Pink pants (they looked like pajamas), pink hood, and a pink shirt with the wavy logo from the bed emblazoned on the chest. A blue lollipop was stuck in his hair—again: how, and why?—that contrasted well with the overwhelming amount of candy pink, and seemed to be the only remnant of John's favorite color left on him.

He was asking you a question now, but you didn't really hear it. You were still too busy staring and taking in all the odd changes John had underwent. His hair, his clothes, his skin. You looked up at his face and started. Dear lord, what happened to his _eyes_! They were still blue, but the new shade looked like someone had taken his usual color and dumped a good helping of white in it, producing a sort of icy, hard blue. And they were looking straight at you.

"Dave?" John asked again, waving his hand in your face, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Dave, what's up?"

You refocused on your friend's words. "Nothing. Just…what happened to you, man?"

"Oh." He looked a bit uncomfortable. "Well, you see…" His head shot up, listening to something. "Don't let her in." He said suddenly. "Whatever you do, don't let her in. She's lying."

You were about to ask who he was talking about, when Jade's ears perked up. "Someone's running this way," she stated. "John, is this who we shouldn't let in?"

He nodded nervously, and knocks on the door soon followed. "Dave? Jade? You need to let me in!"

"Dude," you whispered incredulously, "That's Lalonde! Why can't we let her in?"

"Is John with you? I need to see him immediately."

You looked at John and he shook his head emphatically. Jade looked between you, John, and the door in confusion.

"You need to get out!" Rose pleaded from the other side of the door, "If you won't let me in, then get out of that room! It's not safe; John isn't himself, and he's dangerous."

You and Jade looked at one another in doubt, then turned to John. He wasn't there.

Outside, there was a small scream of pain and a hard thump on the door.


	9. The Doomed Timeline

You are now Dave Strider, many days in the future.

You looked back at the Trickster, still covered in blood and grinning maniacally. Jade and Rose were lying, dead, a few floors down. Currently, you were working your way up to the top level of the mansion, where Rose had found your quest bed five days ago. According to Rose, even if you weren't God Tier—a subject that she never managed to fully understand, and had only known that reaching it involved the quest beds—your powers were more easily accessible while in the presence of your bed. You were hoping that you could reach the room holding yours before this insane version of John managed to maul you like he had the girls. If you could manage it, you were hoping to be able to use your timey wimey powers to get the hell out of this timeline. If not, well, you were in deep shit.

You reached the door to the room just as he rounded the corner. You wrenched open the door and stood near your bed, katana at the ready.

_How do I work this thing?_ You think, frantically searching your body for any signs of godly powers. Nothing. John entered the room with the grin still plastered onto his face, head cocked slightly to the side. "Daaaaave~" he sang, his whole body and voice sizzling with a bit of static. "Want to play?"

"Stay away from me." You warned, sticking out your katana for protection and leaning back onto the bed to support your wobbling knees. A small spark leapt into your hand where it was touching the rock, and you took this as the 'godly powers' Rose had talked about. Immediately grabbing onto the faint hope, you pulled yourself completely onto the bed, feeling the energy course through your being.

Trickster John advanced slowly, as if he knew he had all the time in the world. You tried to concentrate on the time power, channeling it to do your bidding.

You hoped you were doing it right, because John was getting pretty close. You swung your sword at him, warning him once again to keep back.

It all happened so fast, you barely had time to process it. One second, you had a sword in your hand, the next your hand was empty and there was a strange pressure in your chest that really hurt, almost as if… You glanced down. Your record shirt was slowly turning red, the hilt of your sword sticking out of your stomach area. Soon red was creeping around the edges of your vision, closing in on the world. You could feel your life leak into the cold stone beneath you, and things were starting to go black. With one final push, you release all of the energy you had absorbed, hoping to at least bring you and your friends' killer down with you.

Everything goes black.

You open your eyes to piercing white-orange light all around you, and screaming off to the side. Was that Rose? Why was she still alive? Why were _you_ still alive? The light started to slowly fade, showing you the room you had just been in, but without the Trickster.

"Rose?" You yelled, trying to be heard over her shrieking. "Rose! Calm down! It's me, Dave!"

"But—It can't—You're—I left you with Jade!"

What? "But… You're dead. I'm dead. I got…" You looked down. Yup. Still have a sword through your chest. "It worked. It worked! Rose," you said, coming over to grasp her hand excitedly, "How long have you been in the mansion? What's happened so far?"

She looked shocked, but quickly regained her composure, already beginning to absorb this new information. "Well, I believe we have been here for one night… John and I were recently attacked by the monster. I got away, but… I don't know if John was so lucky." She looked down for a second to hide the worry showing in her eyes, then continued. "A small while after I ran, I encountered a large orange bird, which, through shoving and highly annoying noises, led me up here to this room. It then perched on that red slab of rock behind us,"—she gestured to the quest bed—"and started glowing. And now here we are."

You grinned widely; you had done it! Five days in the past, right in time for Rose to find your quest bed, with hopefully enough time to warn past you and past Jade about T-John.

She looked at you strangely. "For someone who looks like an orange bird-genie, you look exceptionally enthusiastic." You glanced down. She was right: everything about you now had a strong orange tint, and you no longer had legs. You were floating. Additionally, you could feel two extra limbs sprouting from your back. You moved them forward to confirm that, yes, in fact, they were giant bird wings.

You chuckled. "So I am. It's pretty cool!" You flapped your wings experimentally, relishing in the gust of wind they created. "Sweet! Jade's gonna get a kick out of this when she-" You stopped in mid-sentence, a sober look crossing over your features. "Jade's okay, right?"

Rose looked surprised. "I am fairly certain she is. The monster came after John and I, and it disappeared once I stabbed it. Why do you ask?"

"We need to go." You said, tugging her towards the door and urging her to follow. She did, and the two of you rushed down the stairs to where you knew you would find your past self.

You stopped outside the room, listening to the conversation in the room. Past you was whispering to someone. You knew exactly who. "Rose, you need to warn them. Tell them to get out, tell them about John, I don't care. Just make sure they're okay, alright?"

She nodded, knocking on the door. "Dave?" she called, putting as much urgency into her voice as possible, "Jade? You need to let me in!" More whispering from Dave. "Is John with you? I need to see him immediately." A long silence. "You need to get out!" Rose finally yelled. "If you won't let me in, then get out of that room! It's not safe; John isn't himself, and he's dangerous."

More silence. You looked around uncomfortably, knowing that T-John had it in his capacity to teleport. While your back was turned, you heard a small scream of pain and a hard thump on your side of the door. You turned around to see a grinning T-John standing over a bleeding Rose.

**Okay, guys. I'm _hoping_ I'm gonna be a bit more on the ball for the next update, but let's just assume I'm gonna take a long time, okay? I apologize in advance for all my future late chapters, yadda, yadda, yadda. Now, on to the important stuff!**

**There is no important stuff, actually. (*Cough* Slight Doctor Who ref in the last chapter, someone gets a cookie if they find it *Cough*) Read, review, PM, dare me to wear something silly for my first/second day of school, whatever. Just let me know that you exist! (Unless you don't, which in that case I would ask you to please let me know that you DON'T exist. This situation is highly unlikely, though.)**


	10. Fights and Stuff

**Bwahahahaha! I have updated within a few weeks instead of, like, half a year or something! Be proud, dear readers. Be very proud.**

**However, this chapter is very short. That is because as soon as I post this, I'm going to immediately start working on the next chapter. Trying to get as far in this as possible before school starts.**

**But anyways, on with the replies!**

**UsagiGirl123: You know what. You get a whole batch of cookies this time. It is a prize for being cool and knowing stuff. And don't worry; I'm not starting school any time soon! I've still got about three weeks or something. As for timey-wimey shenanigans (yes, I get your reference ;3), I will put them in whenever I can, but Dave won't be doing much more of it for a bit. He's gotta reach GT first before the excessive shenanigans begin.**

**random person: It is a great story, isn't it? It's because I wrote it, of course. (Look at all this humility. I am the queen of humility here. It is me.) And I'm glad T-John had the desired effect. I'm afraid my confidence in my creepy/scariness writing is quite lacking, so that really helped! Thank you.**

**nekobaka99: Yes, Trickster John. You may now faint in the glow of my awesome. It's okay, nobody will blame you.**

**Alright, story time!**

Past you came out of the room with confusion written all over his face. At least, to you it was obvious. You doubted T-John could tell, and Rose was preoccupied with her wounded shoulder. Jade came out behind him, peeking over his shoulder at the action unfolding in the hallway.

It didn't take long for him to spot you, wings, tail, freakish hue of orange, and everything. You were tempted to throw some ironic gesture at him, let him know you were him or some shit, but T-John was still way too close to Rose for your comfort.

"Leave her alone." You growled, filling your voice with as much malice as possible. With any luck, the original John was still in there and would chicken out; stand down.

His grin widened. Guess that plan was a no go. "Why? You gonna do something about it?" He waved a bloodied knife in the air, taunting you. "I already killed you once. I can do it again."

You stiffened, partly in fear, but also in rage. This monster had taken over your best friend's body, killed Jade and Rose, and inadvertently gotten you stuck in this weird body. "Then try. You never actually killed me anyways. I'm right here." You stuck out your tongue for extra measure, hoping he would take the bait and leave your friends alone.

A giggle from just behind your right ear was your only warning that your challenge had been accepted. You just barely managed to dodge the knife aimed at your kidney.

Somewhere off to the side, you heard Jade gasp in surprise. "Dave!" you yelled, pulling your sword from your chest—it hurt a bit, but not as much as you were expecting—in order to parry a strike from T-John's knife. "You need to get them out of here. Now!"

He hesitated a bit, but soon grabbed Jade's hand and Rose's good arm, pulling her up and out of the hall towards their temporary base. Once they were out of sight, you turned back to T-John. He had disappeared, the space where he had been previously still buzzing with static. You looked around cautiously, waiting for him to reappear.

**Aaaaand now on to the next chapter! By the way, if you find any plot holes anywhere in this story, please don't be afraid to inform me. I need to be able to patch them up! :U**

**And here is the obligatory paragraph begging for reviews. You may now stare at it until you decide to oblige, therefore showering me with your charitable words of helpfulness.**


	11. Land of Wind and Shade

**I swear to God, I was telling the truth when I said I would start the next chapter immediately after I posted that last one. It's just that stuff happened and please don't kill me because of the shortness of this chapter… Writer's block has been being a bitch for a while now… (Just for this story, though, which is weird… It might be because of my overexposure to different fandoms…)**

**But, enjoy nevertheless...**

You opened your eyes to dreary gray clouds dotted with flashing lights, dancing merrily, seemingly oblivious to the depressing backdrop. You sat up and looked around. You were on the same bed you had been on when that green monster thing had attacked. It had swiped at you, and everything had gone black. Now you were seemingly stranded on some tall spire overlooking a blue world, black lines traversing across it.

You looked down at yourself to check for any injuries where you could have sworn you were hit, but there was nothing. You were, however, clothed in an odd outfit of all blue, with the wavy insignia—the one that you had noticed on the bed— emblazoned on your chest. The longest hood you had ever seen was secured around your neck and draped over the edge of the bed. Your old clothes were nowhere in sight.

You, John Egbert, are utterly confused.

To your left was a small dip; maybe a way to get down? You crawled off the rather uncomfortable blue rock and walked over to it. You peered over the edge—very carefully. It seemed like a pretty long way down—and saw that the dip was, indeed, a way down: a small strip of rock seemingly hewn into the spire itself curled around the tall rock, spiraling lower and lower until it eventually got to the ground many feet below. You gulped. You had never been afraid of heights, but this was pushing it a bit.

With extreme caution, you inched your way down the walkway.

**A/N**

**Yeah, I'm not awesome enough to make John perma-die… Sorry guys…**

**And again I'm gonna apologize for the shortness and lateness and awfulness and everything.**

**And apologize for everything else too because why not.**

**And if I don't update for a while, just know: this story is not abandoned. I will not abandon you. Ever ever ever.**

**Just leave you for long periods of time.**


	12. A City of Salamanders

**Well hey I'm back. It's taken me half a year, but I updated. Happy 4/13 everybody!**

* * *

After you had inched your way down the spire you'd woken up on, you spent almost half an hour picking your way through the strange land. Behind you, you could see the tall rock looming above the valley, like a guardian. Ahead, you could hear the noise you'd been following getting steadily louder. It sounded strangely like the buzz of conversation, though you hadn't met any people on your trek through the blue mushroom-encrusted valley.

Another one of the odd cylinders passed by you. You had seen a couple of them so far, tall metal tubes with those flippy flag things like on your mailbox back home. You glanced over it, now almost used to seeing them. However, you did notice the patch of small mushrooms farther along the path. They were mostly gone, nothing but stubs left clinging to the ground. You weren't used to that; the other mushrooms you'd seen were always whole. The broken mushrooms continued along the path, creating a trail adjacent to the one you were following, leading you straight to the source of the noise. Even through the trees and mushrooms, you could still see the tops of oddly-shaped buildings. You rushed forward eagerly, looking forward to finding some people who could help you find out where the hell you were (and how to get back to your friends). You burst into the congregation of buildings, not at all expecting what you saw.

From the areas around the buildings, at least ten giant yellow salamanders were looking at you.

There was silence for a couple seconds, the salamanders staring at you, and you staring in bewilderment back at them. Then, one by one they lost insterest, going back to glubbing about whatever it was they were doing. You walked up to one near the well in the center of the small town. It saw you and immediately started talking-which was odd. You'd never seen a salamander do that. "Shh, listen," it said, not very quietly, "Do you hear that? He is still asleep, thank goodness." You were about to ask who 'he' was, but it plowed on, almost unaware of your presence. "But when the Windy Thing was kicking up all that fuss, it sounded like he was not happy at all."

"The windy thing?" You asked, squeezing your words into its pause for breath.

It looked at you, looking about as puzzled as a salamander could look. "Yes. It happened just a short while ago. How did you not notice it?"

You blanked. "I was...asleep?" It was probably true, you guessed. "What happened?"

"The Windy Thing, of course! There was wind blowing everywhere, which made him mad. It makes him absolutely furious when anyone other than him bends The Breeze to his will. It is not pleasant for anybody. Luckily, there is only one person who can do that, and he is surely a mythical creature, who only morons believe in."

"Who is 'he'?" you tried to ask, but it was apparently done talking to you. It stared off into the distance, making bubbles with its mouth. Giving up, you moved over to another salamander. Like the last one, it began talking as soon as you made eye contact. Whatever had happened, they all seemed very excited to share about it.

"All that commotion very nearly woke The Slumbering One, I think! That would have been dreadful. But he is still asleep. I am sure that only the heir can wake him, and break the spell over this land."

It sounded like it was going to continue, but a rumble from a nearby mountain interrupted it. "The Slumbering One." It stared towards the mountain, a ring of green smoke spilling into the black clouds above.

You looked into the distance. "Who's the slumbering one?"

"He is He Who Must Not Be Wakened. He will destroy this land with his control of The Breeze." It was talking faster, shaking like a leaf.

"I could go up there and check it out," you offered, not wanting it to freak out any more than it already was.

"But the heir is the only one who can defeat him!" It exclaimed in alarm.

You smiled, sure that these salamanders would probably be scared of anything. It probably wasn't anything. "It's okay. I can handle it."

It spluttered, but you had already left it, making your way to the mountain in the distance. It looked to be a mile away, the trail covered with the same blue gem-like foliage as before. Forging your way through was simple, like a walk in a park in the most literal sense. The phosphorescent plants kept to the sides of the path and lit the way with a calming light. Soon enough, you reached the foot of the mountain, the green smoke now almost pouring out the top. At the end of the path was the mouth of a cave, leading into the heart of the overgrown hill.

You were beginning to get nervous, but you swallowed it down and took the first step into the mountain.

* * *

**Shhhhhh it's not much but it's just enough to hopefully get me started again...**

**I'm so sorry for the wait, guys. I feel horrible. But I think I may have some ideas and I can get this running again with any luck.**

**(A secret though: I'm awful about commitment. Please don't expect too much of an improvement from me.)**


	13. Battle of Lollipops and Creamsicles

**(Sorry real quick A/N I've been noticing that I'll forget Dave has a sprained ankle so I figured you guys might've forgotten too.)**

**(So here is me. Reminding you that: ~*~_Dave still has a sprained ankle_~*~)**

You had begun to run up the stairs two at a time, practically dragging Jade and Rose behind you when you felt it: an intense pain in your leg and the world spinning around you, the next step on the stairs rising towards your face with alarming speed. The large block of carpeted wood slammed into the bridge of your nose. Everything went black for a moment, and when your awareness came back, it was Jade guiding you up the staircase instead.

Damn ankle, you thought, as she-once again-carried you to safety.

Once you had all gotten into the room where your bags had been left, Jade dropped you, Rose sliding down the wall next to you. Jade, however, remained standing. She was twitching agitatedly and looking around, as if hoping to find something in the darkening corners of the room. "What's up?" you asked her, becoming uncomfortable with her silence.

Jade hesitated. "I just..." she looked around some more in a distracted fashion. "I think I should go help him."

"No," was the short, immediate answer from Rose. "You have no weapon, and we hardly know what we're up against."

"But he needs help!" Jade argued, beginning to move over towards the once-plush bed at the back of the room. "Plus, I found this"-she pulled a foot long metal bar from underneath the bed and then moving back to you and Rose-"On our first night here!"

"Is that part of the bed-frame?" you asked in surprise.

"You can't be serious." Rose added in.

"It is, and I am." She said, her voice saying that her mind was set. "And you two are staying here." She added, seeing Rose try to get up.

"But-"

"No." Jade said forcefully, walking out the door and closing it with finality.

XXXX

You are now Jade Harley, approximately two seconds after closing the door on your friends.

You walked down the hall and onto the stairs, stepping carefully so you wouldn't make any of the moldy boards squeak and give you away. The piece of slightly rusty bed-frame sat unfamiliarity in your hands, so very different from the guns you were used to. You raised it awkwardly onto your shoulder, like a batter getting ready to swing as you reached the halfway point on the stairs. To your right you could hear scuffling and the occasional unnerving giggle coming form the hall that you and the others had fled mere minutes ago. Sharp clangs of metal echoed up to you, and you could feel your palms begin to sweat, the iron bar becoming harder to grasp.

As you reached the bottom landing, you heard a loud thud, followed by a grunt of pain and more giggles. You moved faster, a set of screams urging you into a sprint. They got worse the closer you got, bouncing off the walls as they rose in pitch, with the occasional bloodcurdling "_Stop!_" thrown in. You rounded the last corner, eyes catching John's immediately. He stood up as you ran toward him, raising the bar to strike. When you were inches from his face, makeshift bat a breath away from the side of his head, he smiled and flickered out of sight. The bed-frame passed through thin air instead, nothing left of the pink John but a couple pixelated-looking areas where he had been, which soon faded.

You would have stared in shock at the empty space, had it not been for a couple vague croaks from the figure near your feet. Looking down, you gasped. An entire wing was missing from orange Dave's body, instead lying discarded on the floor a couple feet away. The points where they would have met were mangled and covered in an orange-ish liquid you could only assume was blood. It coated the wall behind him as well, large sheets of it spattered and smeared all around and over his hunched form on the ground. Your weapon dropped to the ground and you went with it, falling next to the boy. "Dave! Dave, are you okay?" you said, almost yelled, not even having time to process how stupid a question it was.

"Actually, I feel like shit," he replied, voice hoarse and quavery. "Do you want to..."-he paused to take a shuddering breath. When he spoke again, his voice sounded more collected-"...could you help me up? I don't think I can..." he trailed off, whatever he was planning on saying being swallowed up by his short, shallow breaths.

You made an affirmative noise and moved over to where he was, slipping an arm under his and pulling him up.

"You know," you said, while you helped him up the stairs, both of you casting an occasional glance around for John, "This is the third time I've carried a Strider in just one day."

**A/N**

**Okay, so... Happy 6/12, everybody! (I know it's been 2 months but at least it's an improvement.)**

**I hope you guys like the new chapter and stuff, and I really hope I'm not making this too hard to follow ;_;**

**If I am, just message me or something, so I can fix it, okay?**


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